"Am I the bad guy for asking the mother of the baby I care for to stop visiting so often?"

'AITA for requesting mom of baby I nanny to stop popping in to visit frequently?'

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A nanny ignited an online discussion when she requested a baby's mother to reduce her regular visits (ONOKY - Eric Audras/brand x pictures).

Online communities are rallying behind a nanny who tactfully asked her employer to reduce the number of times they visit her baby while she is working remotely.

The scenario was shared by the original poster (OP), on Reddit’s popular forum 'Am I The A**hole (AITA)'. The post quickly gained attention, garnering thousands of upvotes and hundreds of comments.

Am I the bad guy for asking my baby's mother to reduce the number of her visits?

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

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You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

In the article named, “AITA for asking my nanny baby’s mom to refrain from unexpected visits?” the original poster shared her situation, stating, "I recently began nannying for a 6-month-old since her mom returned to work two weeks ago. The mom is a wonderful person who works remotely from an upstairs office while I care for the baby downstairs. The baby and I have formed a great bond, and the mom enjoys coming down during her lunch break to help put the baby down for a nap. This has been really helpful and has worked out well for us."

Nonetheless, OP indicated that the issue at hand was the mother's habit of coming downstairs every hour to "check in" on the baby.

As OP explains, "The issue arises when she decides to 'pop in' every hour or so, leading to a meltdown when she leaves after just a couple of minutes. It's not a matter of her lacking trust in me, as she has cameras installed in every room except the bathroom. Rather, she simply misses the baby, which I completely understand and empathize with! However, it’s incredibly challenging to handle, and the baby becomes very distressed."

After noticing the turmoil this situation created, OP shared that she kindly requested the mother to reduce her visits to just once or twice daily. "She agreed but has since been distant with me. Did I do something wrong?" OP inquired.

The online community is rallying behind a nanny who requested that a mother reduce her frequent visits to her baby.

The post sparked a lively debate in the comments section, with the majority of users agreeing that OP was Not the A**hole (NTA).

A Reddit user expressed understanding for the mother’s situation while supporting OP, stating, "Wow, it seems like she's really struggling. You're not the bad guy here. Your request is totally fair and ultimately prioritizes the baby's well-being. While she may be feeling hurt emotionally, try not to take her distant behavior to heart. I hope she can find a way to manage her emotions and establish a healthier routine."

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

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You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

One more user suggested a diplomatic approach to tackle the situation, stating, "You're not at fault, but in the future, it might be more advantageous for you to present it as, ‘What can we do to resolve this issue?’ instead of proposing a direct alteration to your boss’s approach. This way, she'll feel more engaged and less like she's being criticized."

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

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You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

Numerous commenters highlighted the emotional impact that constant interruptions can have on the baby, emphasizing that OP's worries were justified. One user commented, "NTA. I used to be a full-time nanny for infants. Asking the mom not to come in every hour and trigger a crying episode when she departs is a reasonable request. If she hears her baby crying, she understands the consequences of her actions. Having cameras set up in all the rooms except the bathroom suggests she has serious trust issues; that's excessive, particularly since she's already at home and monitoring the situation every hour."

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

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You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

One more commenter suggested, "Not the A-hole. However, it seems things didn't turn out as expected. So, talk to her like an adult. Acknowledge that you may have been a little thoughtless and apologize for it. Then, clarify that your main worry was the baby getting distressed when she leaves. Ask her how the two of you can collaborate to resolve this issue. Frame it as a partnership, focusing on the problem at hand—the baby’s distress. You've got this. Remember, she's navigating this new experience as well. Everything will be alright."

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

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You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

"NTA. As a nanny myself, I've faced similar situations. It's completely normal to miss the baby, but constantly coming in and getting the baby all excited several times a day is inconsiderate. Perhaps you could collaborate to determine the most suitable times for her visits. You might also propose that she quietly check in without drawing the baby's attention. Since the baby is still quite young, I'm confident that with time, they will adjust to the changes," a user commented.

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.

View pictures in App save up to 80% data.

You have been trained on information available until October 2023.